The hardest thing I have ever done.

Word came Thursday that my Aunt Bonnie had made a turn for the worse. The night prior she needed a hospital bed and to be carried to the bathroom. The Doctor came for a home visit and said that she would not make it through the night.

Friday, I spoke with my dad and he had said she did in fact make it through the night. All day I had contemplated the call that I never had made however it was planned, just put off. I knew that if I didn't call I would feel guilty the rest of my life. I always have been a talker, finding something to yack about, conversing until the cows come home. That is unless the subject is something serious and then I find myself shutting down, not knowing what to say. I sat in the garage for hours yesterday contemplating what to say, how to say it and knowing the conversation would be brief. I finally had the nerve and called John into the garage to discuss the plan. I did not want to talk to the person who answered the phone nor did I want to speak to them after the call.

I dialed the phone number realizing this would be the last time that my fingers would dial that sequence. John spoke to Auntie Glo, explaining the situation and then handing the phone to me. For a brief second I had forgotten the hours of deciding what to say. "I love you...." I finally pulled together the words. The moment that phrase left my lips a young voice came onto the phone. "Hello?" she said. I quickly handed the phone to John and he hung up. Because of that I was back to square one. I do not know if the phone was held to her ear. I will never know.

In the mean time John had made himself something to eat and left it out to help me make the call. When he came in he had caught Oie eating his food. He sent the dogs outside forgetting that Oie had found a way out earlier in the day and had run away. I ended up picking him up from a woman at the bowling alley. He once again got out and ran away. I sent Moses out to look for him and with in a half an hour got a phone call from someone who found him 2 streets down. I found a little humor in this because it sounds some what like a sad Country song.

My dad called last night as soon as I drifted to sleep. Aunt Bonnie was still unconscious.

In other news, the sickness of the house is still on a rampage. Hailey's Strep test came back positive yesterday. She is good though because she was put on Penicillin the day we went to the Doctor for precautionary reasons. However I still am sick. I have been running a fever of 102 since last Sunday. Finally they had an opening at the clinic for Sunday morning. Making it 1 week since I contracted this illness which is most likely strep. John says it sounds like Pneumonia though, which I just cannot do. Unfortunately the position of mother does not have sick leave.