One eye'd Willy

Somewhere around Tuesday afternoon my eye felt as if I had something in my contact. I took it out to let my eye rest and things progressively got worse. My tears began to feel like Tabasco. Through the night I was woken up with the feeling that glass was embedded in my eye. My Tabasco tears flowed like a swollen river. The next day it was getting worse.

I have decided, if you ever want to see me irritable.... stick something in my eye. I guarded it all day because light caused the pain to intensify. I applied warm compresses to no avail. Finally I decided to call and get authorization to go to Urgent care. By the time the on-call Doc got around to calling me back, Urgent care was closed. He said that I needed to take my "eye emergency" into the emergency room. Something we all want to hear! "I want you to go sit in a room packed with contagious flu patients incapable of covering their mouths for hours!".

My friend Holly was nice enough to volunteer to be my E.R. escort. When we arrived there was the usual. Flu, strep and cold infested patients. To top it all off, there was a young gal who was either obviously strung out on the latest street drug or possibly schizophrenic. She had a towel wrapped around her arm and cradled it, as if it were her baby. She rocked back and forth dramatically crying, impatient, seeking attention. All the while, Holly and I tried to diagnose her suicide attempt. Possibly a wife to a deployment or war tragedy. Maybe a break up, or a death in the family. My final diagnosis was a pure case of PCP. ;)

We finally were called back into the room. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. Being a mother of 4, I don't have much of an opportunity to make it out into the town and laugh it out with a friend. Holly and I laughed over her extreme germaphobe quirks and compared drivers licenses. I told awful stories of my EMT school days (trying to sway her from medical assistant), and then we listened to people cry in the room next to us.... possibly due to my stories.

Finally the Doctor came in and asked the routine questions. She brought along some fluorescent orange dye and a black light. For a moment I thought she may had confused me with the PCP patient and had brought entertainment! She numbed my eye up, colored it with the narly dye and then examined it with the black light. I literally could see my glowing eye in the reflection of the lamp, which I found amusing.

She then decided to play around with the antique eye machine... the kind you put your chin in the metal strap and the Doctor proclaims, "1 or 2? This one or that?" Next on the list of torture devices was a bottle of saline solution which she had decided to spray into my swollen irritated eye full force, the sound of the stream was audible.

Diagnosis? Corneal Abrasion. Treatment: antibiotic eye drops and percocet. Time home: Midnight. A night out with the girls.... well girl... without children: PRICELESS!!!